everybody's got a blog

so i got one too.

lots of people i know are doing things (like their jobs & school) just because they think that's what they're supposed to do. that's how i have always lived my life. that is, until february of this year when i decided to dump my boyfriend, leave my job, move out of boston and do what i most wanted to do...travel.

this was the most important decision i've made in my life.

it was also the first time i made an important decision based only on what i wanted. for the first time i didn't wonder, what do my parents, my brother, my boyfriend, my friends think i should do?

instead i thought, what does amanda want to do?

the truth is, i went to a good school because my parents wanted me to, i got a job right after graduating because my parents wanted me to, and then got my masters because my parents wanted me to. or rather, because i knew it would make them proud. and it did, no doubt. (don't get me wrong, i'm happy i've made the decisions i did. as a result i'm a very successful young woman with an mba and an impressive resume.)

so. i stayed in boston for my ex-boyfriend, and got a job there to be with him. we had been on and off for a few years. pretty soon i realized it really wasn't going to work. my job became really intense. i was unhappy and a bit of a basketcase. i felt trapped, suffocated, bored, unfulfilled, sad, angry, hopeless. the list goes on...

WAKE UP!

i did. i thought:

"what the HELL am i doing here?!?! WHY am i wasting my time?!? i'm a young, successful, smart, beautiful woman! i can do whatever i want, where ever i want!"

i woke. i didn't want to be with him. i didn't want to stay at my job. i didn't want to care about whether it looked bad on my resume to be there for less than a year. i didn't want to live in boston.

i just wanted.
to be.
FREE.

i wanted to travel. to see my friends scattered all over the world. to go to india. to volunteer with the Art of Living. to be happy. i just wanted to live my life for MYSELF. not for my dad or my mom or my friends or my would-be significant other.

so that.
is just what i did.

i let go of all my concepts and "should's." i let go of "what will they think..." or "what will happen if..." and instead just trusted that i was a good person and whatever i chose to do from my heart would be supported. and it was. and now i'm centered and smiling. the happiest i've ever been.

so. this blog is about that. doing what's easy. what's natural and free. just do what's easy.